20 Times Roger Ebert’s Reviews Held Nothing Back

Few film critics could deliver a takedown quite like Roger Ebert. When he disliked a movie, he made sure everyone knew why. His sharpest reviews are aimed at cinematic failures and baffling creative choices. Here are 20 times he held nothing back.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)

Ebert didn’t just dislike “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”—he annihilated it. Calling it “aggressively bad” and questioning the audience’s suffering, he even took a shot at Rob Schneider’s career choices. The movie’s crude humor and lack of narrative coherence made it unbearable for him.

Armageddon (1998)

Relentless action and overwhelming special effects defined “Armageddon,” leaving little room for substance. The film’s scientific inaccuracies and non-stop explosions drew sharp criticism, with its chaotic pacing overshadowing any attempt at storytelling. Summing up his frustration, Ebert described it as “A loud, long, hyperkinetic assault on the senses.”

The Brown Bunny (2003)

Vincent Gallo’s “The Brown Bunny” left Ebert so unimpressed that he declared it the worst movie ever screened at the Cannes Film Festival. This led to a public feud between Ebert and Gallo. The director fired back at the critic, but Ebert remained unfazed, later stating that even a shorter re-edited version of the film did little to improve its tedious and self-indulgent storytelling.

Tommy Boy (1995)

Comedy relies on timing and wit, but “Tommy Boy” left little impact beyond its slapstick humor. Ebert criticized its reliance on tired gags and predictable jokes, noting that the film lacked originality. He expressed his disappointment by saying, “No one is funny in Tommy Boy. Not Chris Farley. Not David Spade. Not even the mysterious figure in the shadows in the background.”

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Ebert described “Battlefield Earth” as enduring a long bus ride next to someone who hasn’t bathed in days. John Travolta’s sci-fi disaster became a legendary box-office failure, and Ebert’s review only built its reputation. He criticized everything from its laughable dialogue to its overuse of tilted camera angles, which made it clear that the film had no redeeming qualities.

The Love Guru (2008)

Sometimes, a movie is so bad that even a legendary critic struggles to find words. After watching the film, Ebert wrote, “My mind is a blank slate. I have no memories of this movie.” That kind of erasure isn’t a good sign for any film. Ebert found Mike Myers’ attempt at humor painfully unfunny, with an over-reliance on cultural stereotypes that fell completely flat.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

His take on “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” was unforgettable because he expressed his frustration vividly. He likened the experience to “standing in a kitchen while a child banged pots and pans.” Moreover, he criticized its incoherent plot and relentless explosions, arguing that even CGI spectacle couldn’t save a movie with no soul.

North (1994)

Few reviews are as infamous as Ebert’s reaction to “North.” His words were seething: “I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie.” According to him, the story was aimless, the jokes being forced, and the entire experience for wasting time. It wasn’t just bad—it was, in his eyes, an insult to filmmaking.

Mr. Magoo (1997)

Children’s movies should entertain without talking down to their viewers. “Mr. Magoo” failed spectacularly, prompting Ebert to declare, “This is a film that labors under the misapprehension that children are idiots.” He argued that slapstick humor alone wasn’t enough to hold a movie together, and this one did little more than waste the talents of Leslie Nielsen.

Spice World (1997)

According to Ebert, comparing “Spice World” to “A Hard Day’s Night” was sacrilegious because the latter was a beloved classic with genuine artistic merit. In contrast, he found the Spice Girls’ film insufferable and a blatant cash grab. Furthermore, he criticized its lack of narrative structure, ultimately calling it a music video stretched into a feature-length disaster.

The Village (2004)

M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Village” did not impress Ebert. He found its big twist underwhelming and its execution frustratingly self-serious, calling it a “colossal miscalculation.” When a film relies on a twist, it must deliver—and this one didn’t for Ebert. He believed the buildup led to a payoff that ultimately felt unearned and contrived.

Exit to Eden (1994)

“This movie is an incompetent mishmash of unrelated styles and tones,” was Ebert’s conclusion. Its odd mix of sultry thriller and slapstick comedy left him bewildered. In addition, he pointed out that the film’s tonal shifts made it impossible to take seriously, as one moment featured romance while the next had slapstick antics from Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O’Donnell.

Mad Dog Time (1996)

Most films at least attempt to entertain. “Mad Dog Time” made Ebert rethink that assumption. His verdict was that this is the first film that is no better than staring at a blank screen for the same duration. Ebert argued that it misused its talented cast on lifeless performances and meaningless and exhausting dialogue.

The Human Centipede (2009)

Few films have been so repulsive that a seasoned critic refused to rate them, but this one achieved that distinction. Lacking artistic merit and existing purely for shock value, it left Ebert unimpressed and disgusted. He refused to rate it, stating, “It exists only to inspire incredulity, nausea, and hopefully outrage.”

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)

The film remake baffled Ebert because it failed to capture the charm of the original show. Instead of delivering a heartfelt tribute, the film relied on car stunts and Jessica Simpson’s short shorts. As he put it, “Of course, the movie is a comedy, but then so is the plumbing department at Home Depot if you look at it right.”

Good Luck Chuck (2007)

Sometimes, a single word says it all. In his review, Ebert wrote, “There is a word for this movie, and that is: Ick.” The movie, which relied on a forced romance between Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, struck Ebert as juvenile and painfully unfunny. He dismissed it as an example of why gross-out comedies often fail when they mistake shock value for actual humor.

The Beverly Hillbillies (1993)

Remakes need to bring something new to the table, but “The Beverly Hillbillies” didn’t. Ebert’s take? “The movie is appalling.” His review didn’t need elaborate metaphors, just sheer, brutal honesty. While the film attempted to update the beloved 1960s sitcom for modern audiences, instead, it exaggerated the characters to the point of parody.

Corky Romano (2001)

Ebert could not hold back when a comedy failed to deliver laughs. “Corky Romano,” starring Chris Kattan, earned the devastating label: “a dead zone of comedy.” There are no laughs, no redeeming moments, just disappointment. He criticized Kattan’s over-the-top performance as a failed attempt to channel Jim Carrey’s energy but without the talent to make it work.

Catwoman (2004)

He saw “Catwoman” as a lost opportunity because it failed to deliver a compelling superhero story. Despite having the potential to be a dark and engaging film, it became a style-over-substance disaster, leading Ebert to conclude, “A movie about Halle Berry’s beauty, appeal, figure, eyes, lips, and costume design.”

The Last Airbender (2010)

Ebert’s review of “The Last Airbender” highlighted numerous flaws, from wooden acting to incoherent storytelling. He noted that its visual effects failed to compensate for its shortcomings. Summing up his disappointment, he says the film is excruciating in every possible way and in ways that haven’t yet been defined.